Understanding the difference between rescuing and supporting others is vital in both personal and professional relationships. It can be a fine line to walk, but knowing how to navigate it can lead to healthier, more empowering interactions.
Rescuing
Rescuing often stems from a well-intentioned place. It involves jumping in to solve problems for someone else, often without them asking for help. The rescuer takes on the responsibility to fix the situation, often believing that the other person is incapable of handling it themselves.
While it may seem like a generous act, rescuing can have negative implications. It can foster dependency, as the person being "rescued" may start to rely on others to solve their problems. It also disempowers them, as it sends a message that they are incapable of managing their own issues.
Rescuing can also lead to an unhealthy dynamic known as 'codependency', where the rescuer feels a compulsive need to help, and the person being rescued becomes reliant on this help.
This situation can cause stress, resentment, and burnout for the rescuer, and a lack of self-confidence or learned helplessness for the person being rescued.
Supporting
Supporting, on the other hand, is about empowering the individual to handle their own problems, while providing them with the necessary tools and emotional backing. It's a more balanced approach that respects the individual's autonomy.
When you support someone, you're there to listen, offer guidance, and provide resources when needed. However, the ultimate responsibility to handle the situation remains with the person facing the issue. This approach helps build resilience, self-confidence, and problem-solving skills.
Supporting promotes a healthier dynamic in relationships. It encourages independence and growth while still providing a safety net of emotional support. It also respects boundaries, allowing both parties to maintain their autonomy and sense of self.
In conclusion, while rescuing and supporting may seem similar on the surface, they have fundamentally different impacts on the person you're trying to help and on your relationship with them. By shifting from a rescuing mindset to a supporting one, you can encourage growth, self-reliance, and mutual respect in your relationships.
Dawn Feldpausch, LCSW 🌺
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